Ah, it's been a while. I've been laid out with the flu for the past week.
I haven't had the flu in a couple years, at least. Boy, did I forget how much it sucks.
My kidneys felt like they were the punching bags in a week-long Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kicking Camp. Everything just hurt. Fever. Sweats. Ugh.
Being a school teacher doesn't help anything, either. The job is hard enough as it is. The office is a virtual hot zone. An entire corner of the office was wiped out by the end of the week. One teacher was walking around disinfecting all of our desks at the end of each day. Coincidentally, one of the teachers I share a room with was out today.
My bad.
On a somewhat related note, Evil Prius made his untriumphant return this morning. He speeds past me a quarter-mile away from school and took (what I thought was) the last spot. Fortunately, there was one open spot, but that bastard knew what he was doing, and I plan to give him the flu before the week is out.
I just need to find out where his desk is...COUGHCOUGHCOUGHnon-turn-signal-using-piece-of...
Bastard.
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Monday, February 18, 2008
rambo-licious
WARNING: "RAMBO" SPOILERS BELOW. IF YOU WANT TO SEE THE MOVIE AND BE SURPRISED BY ALL OF THE INTRICATE PLOT TWISTS AND CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT - DO NOT READ THIS ENTRY.
With Oscar night less than a week away, I decided that I should go to the movies this weekend. I wanted to be able to root for my favorite movie on Oscar night, so Rambo was an obvious choice.
When you go to see a movie like Rambo you have a certain level of expectation that is not hard to meet. That being said, Rambo met all of my expectations - and then some.
Here are some of the highlights:
- Rambo actually kills a fish with a bow and arrow. He then gives the fish to hungry children. What a guy.
- There is a scene where he is being convinced by a young, attractive missionary to take her group into war-ridden Burma to help the civilians. In this two-minute scene I counted at least 22 cliches. It went something like this:
Cute missionary: "What if one person could make a difference?
Rambo: "Nothing ever changes."
Cute missionary: "I believe in change."
Rambo: "I believe in nothing."
(I can't say with conviction that these are the exact quotes - but you get the idea. This was the whole scene - one of my favorites.)
- Speaking of counting, we tried to count how many people died. The first 14 were easy. But then there was a massacre of a Burmese village when the act of counting casualties became futile. Ballpark - I'd say at least 350 people were killed in the movie. Maybe more.
- Before Rambo begins his adventure, he captures snakes for a living. Snakes!
- There is a scene right before Rambo decides to join a group of mercenaries who are hired to rescue the group of missionaries who were captured. Rambo is welding a weapon which would later be used to kill the evil leader (more on him below), and he says, "You didn't kill for your country. You killed for yourself." Awesome.
- They make the bad guys really bad. There is a scene where they have these four women dancing for them while they are all drinking at a military camp, and then they all go insane and begin to do horrible things to the women (don't worry - they are stopped - thanks to Rambo). But the leader - he's not interested in the women. Nope. He likes little boys. I know! Evil! (Rambo kills him, too, so don't worry about losing sleep over it.)
- Here is a picture of Rambo hunting fish for hungry children (in case you didn't believe me):
All in all, it was a great cinematic experience. I look forward to seeing how they do on Oscar night next Sunday. Even if you're thinking, "Brian just told me the whole movie," don't let that stop you from seeing it. It'll be well worth the price of admission.
With Oscar night less than a week away, I decided that I should go to the movies this weekend. I wanted to be able to root for my favorite movie on Oscar night, so Rambo was an obvious choice.
When you go to see a movie like Rambo you have a certain level of expectation that is not hard to meet. That being said, Rambo met all of my expectations - and then some.
Here are some of the highlights:
- Rambo actually kills a fish with a bow and arrow. He then gives the fish to hungry children. What a guy.
- There is a scene where he is being convinced by a young, attractive missionary to take her group into war-ridden Burma to help the civilians. In this two-minute scene I counted at least 22 cliches. It went something like this:
Cute missionary: "What if one person could make a difference?
Rambo: "Nothing ever changes."
Cute missionary: "I believe in change."
Rambo: "I believe in nothing."
(I can't say with conviction that these are the exact quotes - but you get the idea. This was the whole scene - one of my favorites.)
- Speaking of counting, we tried to count how many people died. The first 14 were easy. But then there was a massacre of a Burmese village when the act of counting casualties became futile. Ballpark - I'd say at least 350 people were killed in the movie. Maybe more.
- Before Rambo begins his adventure, he captures snakes for a living. Snakes!
- There is a scene right before Rambo decides to join a group of mercenaries who are hired to rescue the group of missionaries who were captured. Rambo is welding a weapon which would later be used to kill the evil leader (more on him below), and he says, "You didn't kill for your country. You killed for yourself." Awesome.
- They make the bad guys really bad. There is a scene where they have these four women dancing for them while they are all drinking at a military camp, and then they all go insane and begin to do horrible things to the women (don't worry - they are stopped - thanks to Rambo). But the leader - he's not interested in the women. Nope. He likes little boys. I know! Evil! (Rambo kills him, too, so don't worry about losing sleep over it.)
- Here is a picture of Rambo hunting fish for hungry children (in case you didn't believe me):
All in all, it was a great cinematic experience. I look forward to seeing how they do on Oscar night next Sunday. Even if you're thinking, "Brian just told me the whole movie," don't let that stop you from seeing it. It'll be well worth the price of admission.
Friday, February 15, 2008
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
this blog is so ninja
I'm starting a world-wide campaign. Well, if not world-wide, at least an effort that will tranform the way all English-speaking territories communicate.
I am turning "ninja" into an adjective.
It began back in college as a joke amongst friends. But I was recently reminded of ninjas during a discussion with co-workers last week. I told them about my college friends, and after some convincing they warmed up to the idea.
I've created a group on Facebook.
Join the revolution.
If you don't have Facebook, tell your friends.
If you don't have friends - well, you're just not very ninja.
I am turning "ninja" into an adjective.
It began back in college as a joke amongst friends. But I was recently reminded of ninjas during a discussion with co-workers last week. I told them about my college friends, and after some convincing they warmed up to the idea.
I've created a group on Facebook.
Join the revolution.
If you don't have Facebook, tell your friends.
If you don't have friends - well, you're just not very ninja.
Monday, February 11, 2008
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
snowed in
More snow today. They decided to have an early release at school - 1 PM.
It's only 11 AM right now.
Try teaching a group of low-level freshman who were just told they're allowed to leave school early.
Go ahead. I dare you.
It's only 11 AM right now.
Try teaching a group of low-level freshman who were just told they're allowed to leave school early.
Go ahead. I dare you.
Monday, February 4, 2008
how i know i'm growing older #2
Last weekend Chicago was debilitated by a snow storm. Snow everywhere. Cars buried in. A pile of dark gray slush on every curb that resembled a slurpee recipe gone terribly wrong. It was vintage Chicago winter.
So, naturally, we decide it's a good time to drive to our Friday night destination. I'm in the car with Sean and Dave, and we're off to the Double Door to go see a hip-hop show. I'm in the backseat; the music is loud, spirits are high, and we are off for our Friday night.
We turn the corner on a small side street to head back to Western Avenue, and right in the middle of the intersection is a snow mound left behind by a plow-truck. It's about three feet high, and there are no other people outside on the block.
"Woooooaaaah!"
"Let's drive around it."
"Yeah. Good call."
Five years ago - hell, three years ago - we would have smashed right through that bastage at 30 mph.
So, naturally, we decide it's a good time to drive to our Friday night destination. I'm in the car with Sean and Dave, and we're off to the Double Door to go see a hip-hop show. I'm in the backseat; the music is loud, spirits are high, and we are off for our Friday night.
We turn the corner on a small side street to head back to Western Avenue, and right in the middle of the intersection is a snow mound left behind by a plow-truck. It's about three feet high, and there are no other people outside on the block.
"Woooooaaaah!"
"Let's drive around it."
"Yeah. Good call."
Five years ago - hell, three years ago - we would have smashed right through that bastage at 30 mph.
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